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If you’re a woman and a little person on Tinder, there are plenty of people can be a bit of a mood killer when said women view you as “a dwarf-shaped sex toy.

Tinder’s popularity rises with the increasing number of lonely people in the world. Largely capitalizing on the solitude of the city-dwelling somethings who form the majority of the app’s users, it has reduced the human romantic experience down to its most basic level. Your iPhone flashes up a picture of a stranger’s face.

Put your thumb on it and swipe left if you don’t want to have sex with them; swipe right if you do. If you’re the kind of puritanical moralist who has issues with that, then fuck you. When you’re little more than a faceless urban speck, wedged in that sticky interim period between formal education and a living wage, techno-dogging offers a welcome distraction. However, I was still a little surprised when my friend forwarded me this invitation to an official Tinder “Launch Party” in London, England:.

Why was this party occurring over a year after the app’s actual launch? Maybe the launch was going to serve as an inaugural huzzah for a sort of Tinder elite, a pool of the most right-swiped people in Britain. Maybe the people who run Tinder just want to renew the hype around it after a couple of months of the media talking it to death. Could it perhaps be an orgy? Obviously I had nothing better to do that evening, so I went down to take a look and find out what Tinder’s finest really thought of Jack, 24, Peckham.

The venue was Cirque Du Soir; a West End club that looks like it was designed to give sociopaths somewhere to drink away their hard ons after watching War Horse. I felt like it was really trying hard to nail that Weimar meets Vegas meets Burning Man decadence that rich people go nuts for, and it had drinks prices to match.

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